A Moment

Every now and then people can have a zen moment right? Or a moment of utter humiliation? Triumph? Fear? Joy? The list goes on...

The thing about most things on this list is that there is no gray area between the hard and the easy right? Zen is generally something easy to experience... it's welcome. Same thing with joy, triumph, celebration, personal glory, etc, etc. The hard category contains humiliation, fear, failure, sadness, etc.

There is one moment that falls in the grayest of areas. The moment where you are completely humbled. You can't claim it's easy to be humbled, but at the same time, it's something you can easily find where you least expect it.

I went into good old Pet Valu in Dundas for cat food. There was a man outside who asked me for change. I always joke that I am close to living on the street, but obviously, no one that knows me would let that happen. I had no change. I did not lie to this man when I said no. I had no change. I was buying my hugely expensive cat food on my debit card. So I said "sorry no I don't." and continued into the store. I have to admit, I was quite shocked by the fact that someone was panhandling in Dundas. I have never seen that in that town. When I left PetValu the man was still there. He was older. Wearing red flannel and dark green overalls. He was grizzled looking to say the least. I thought to myself "buddy, I can't imagine you are going to get much change here!"

Then a man passed him. He was a non-descript younger gentleman. I would say in his mid thirties. The older man held out his hand and asked for change. (I was slowly climbing into my car by this point). The younger man shook his head and before I could mentally form the words "that's what I thought!" the younger man put a hand on the man's shoulder and said "But I am going for a coffee, would you like to join me?" I honestly stood half in and half out of my car. The older man nodded and the two of them walked into Tim Horton's together.

So I drive home thinking "Wow, that man was awesome." If I had had change would I have given it to him? Probably not. No, no I wouldn't have.

Then I get home and Oprah is on. Ellen Burstyn is on and she tells a story about how she lived on the streets of New York just to see what it was like. I don't know why... But she took no money with her, and dressed appropriately for her task. She needed money to ride the subway so she approached two women about the same age as herself and asked for a dollar. One woman fished in her purse and handed over a one dollar bill. Ellen told Oprah she was thrilled to have that dollar. She felt proud of herself. But as she walked away she realized neither of the women would look her in the eyes. She cried when she realized homeless people and panhandlers are seen as lower, almost insignificant, human beings. I understood I hadn't looked at the older gentleman in the eyes. I didn't want to.

Very, very humbling esperience to say the least.